Feel Good to Play Great!

Having a happy, contented state of mind and body is so important to our ability to succeed in our musical activities, to do the things we sometimes dream we'll be able to do.

When we feel calm, at ease or even happy as we play, that's when we can really flourish in our music-making. That's when our physical facility and innate creativity really start to come through. We seem to be able to do more and discover more. Learning, practice and performance are more like an adventure than 'work'.

I myself notice a greater willingness to experiment and take risks. There seems to be more capacity to listen closely to the music, and more capacity to think up creative solutions to musical problems.

From a Schema Coaching perspective, this is all about accessing the so-called Happy Child Mode (aka the Healthy Child Mode). It's that innate part in all of us that can be playful, spontaneous, curious, interested, engaged, lost in the music, in our imagination, creative, and happy in what we're doing.

I notice that when my Happy Child Mode is relatively strong at the piano, I'm not only more engaged and excited in the process, but also less concerned by 'what others will think' or whether I'm 'good enough' or the likes. My Inner Critic has left the building, or at least he's much further away. I'm therefore much more forgiving of inevitable mistakes. So there's less frustration and more willingness to continue practicing. I'm enjoying the process much more and I keep going. I time, my technique becomes more refined, simply through sitting and playing. It actually doesn't feel very much like the 'practice' I was prescribed as a child.

With these and similar experiences in mind, I have learnt to make 'feeling good' as my first port-of-call on my journey to 'playing good'. In other words, to find ways of activating that inner Happy Child in me as I learn, practice and perform.

We Keep Forgetting Joy

One problem I've found is that this happy and free part of me can often be hidden behind various other negative modes of being and related schemas. If you grew up like I did, learning that playing the piano was 'serious work' requiring lots of concentration and effort, with the goal being to reach a certain standard, and then the next one, and the next ... it's no wonder that you - like me - might find practice boring or a chore sometimes. Those old habit of mind that we picked up have been activated again.

In Schema terms, we might say we've inherited an Unrelenting Standards schema from our experiences in music education, and that we approach the piano in an Overcontroller Mode, striving to get everything 'right' in order to reach the ideal that's been described to us.

The problem with the Overcontroller Mode is that is often lacks a lot of joy for playing. The Happy Child Mode is out of the picture. In its place are the feelings in the back stage of that Overcontroller Mode: stress, anxiety about mistakes, and a pressure to keep pushing on, regardless of our feelings or needs. It's no wonder that we might tend to stop playing altogether if this mode is strong, or if we haven't been given room to cultivate our Happy Child mode at the piano.

Step Back Into Joy

So how can we activate that Happy Child part of us? And how can we use that side of us to help even with the things we find tricky or dull?

Luckily: there are lots of ways!

But let's try something: What about when we sit at the piano, we imagine that we're entering some sort of 'Happy Child Bubble'?

Can you imagine being inside that bubble at you sit at the piano stool? You might look around and, in your mind's eye, 'see' the bubble's glossy edge itself, protecting you from the 'seriousness' and 'hard work' being fired at you from a more Demanding or Pushy Inner Critic of old. What about imagining that bubble has swirls of colour all through. Imagine that it moves with you as you move around. It is your flexible shield, glistening in the light.

How does this image make you feel? Can you sense a change in your state of mind? Maybe it's a bit more calm, but there's more energy at the same time? Do you notice your body becoming more relaxed? Maybe a gentle sigh might want to come on, or maybe you notice a subtle smile coming to your face? Anything like that would be a sign to me that your Happy Child Mode has been activated. Hurrah! Nice one!

If you feel it's working well for you, stay inside that bubble on the piano stool. Here can allow your mind to wonder and dream as you touch the keys. Why don't you choose something to play that fits your mood and energy level right now? What do you want to play? Do you just want to tinkle about without any hinderance? What about an old favourite piece? Or something new that looks interesting? Do you fancy playing some scales or finger exercises? Sometimes I do, if I'm in the mood to just move my fingers or work out a finger pattern.

Whatever you pick, know you can start and finish wherever, whenever. And you can play in your own way, as feels good and right in the moment.

You can put aside what the sheet music says you 'should' do for a good while - until you feel much more at ease and free with the notes. You can play them however you want: loud, soft, spiky, smooth. Try leaving the pedal down and let all the notes blur together. Enjoy and savour the sounds that appear. Listen-in to them, maybe even leaning into the piano to hear more closely. What do the sounds make you think of, feel or imagine? Colours? Landscapes? Animals? People? A film scene? A character? A time of day? A mood? ...

And how do you feel want to move at the piano? Do you want to try swaying along with the music? Or tapping your foot? Or dancing on your seat? Or remain just nice and still? What kind of facial expression fits the character of the music? Can you pull that face, like a child would?

Put Your Joy into Practice

Ok, you've done that for a while. Total freedom. How do you feel?

Hopefully you might sense a kind of freedom and ease and okayness in what you're playing. Do you notice that 'mistakes' or slips of your fingers don't seem to matter so much when your Happy Child Mode is active? Do you notice that there's more energy to keep going?

If so, it could be time to put this side to use with some pieces you 'should' or 'need' to be working on. (Your Demanding Critic will probably love this, but their still outside the building, looking in through the window. But they're so dazzled by this new facility and creativity that's come about, that they don't feel the need to interrupt. They're just watching - bowled over).

Ok, back to you!

Can you take some of that joy, ease and enthusiasm you've found and see if you can keep it alive as you play something that maybe feels difficult or that you've been avoiding? Can you play through a piece you 'have to work on', but with some of those rule-breaking approaches from above? Can you savour the sounds you're making - using the pedal to extend the notes for longer than they are written? Can you tap into your imagination and allow your mind to freely associate the sounds with images, moods, places or ideas? Can you move along to the music in the way that feels nice, enjoying the dance of your body in tandem with the line of notes? What about just revelling in the sheer act of making music, making sounds, no matter what stage you're at with it? It's pretty awesome to just play.

What do you notice as you do this, as you keep your Happy Child Mode alive while you practise something more focused? How is your playing? Is it more expressive or creative? Is it more accurate, even?

I hope you find that it helps you enjoy the learning process. I hope it gives you the energy you need to make headway on something tricky. I hope there is more spontaneity and freedom in your playing, and that your own style and character is emerging. That is, the way you like to play, not so much how people tell you to play.

I hope, too, that you feel like you want to stick around on the piano stool for longer than you may have done before. No need to add any further expectations about where this might take you. Just enjoy every happy moment as it arises. And if it drifts away from you, go chase it! Like a kite that's slipped out of your hands!

See where it takes you. From my experience, I think you'll discover much more than you imagined.