'The Confidence Switchboard'

Here's a Schema Coaching perspective on how we get stuck in our music practice, and how we can find more freedom, enjoyment and confidence.

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When we sit to practise perform at our instrument, we often do so on a kind of automatic pilot.

It's like a switch inside flicks on, and we do things out of habit without necessarily being aware of it.

In some respects, this is helpful.

For example, once we've sufficiently learnt the notes for a scale, we can automatically play it without thinking too much.

The same goes for sections of a piece or song we've learnt and memorised (or even whole pieces of music).

Through repeated learning, we can more or less play or sing the notes – or some of the notes – automatically.

This is useful because it can free up our mind and body to, perhaps, make creative changes in the spare of the moment, giving a sense of spontaneity to our playing.

Great!

Psychological Switches — Schemas

When we play, other switches also turn on, affecting things like:

• The music we choose

•. The amount we try to learn, practice or perform

• How we sit or stand and move as we play

•. The tempo we take

•. How we shape the sound

• What we try to achieve

and crucially:

•. How we feel about ourselves, our playing, and the people around us.

These are the psychological or emotional schemas that we focus on in Schema Coaching for Musicians.

These kinds of switches also develop through repeated learning. Through lived experience.

This, for me, is where it gets interesting...

We go to play our instrument, a switch goes on from what we've learnt about playing music in our past, and it automatically affects our thinking, feeling, physicality, and how we behave – and how we play – in the present.

Negative Experiences, Negative Switches

Our lived experience is key.

Negative experiences create negative switches.

Negative autopilot:

Negative feelings. Unhelpful habits. About music.

For instance, let's say we had a really strict, over-demanding and highly critical music teacher.

They set us goals that felt unachievable and overwhelming. They left it to us to work out the music on our own without enough guidance. They expected us to be able to perform what we had achieved next lesson without any mistakes. When we – inevitably – did, they barked criticism at us that felt really harsh and personal:

"Play for me NOW! 1, 2, 3... Stick to the tempo! Why can't you do it?! You should be able to do this by now?! My other students can do it! What's wrong with you!? You're a terrible player!"

With this kind of experience repeated over time, we came to learn – to feel – that we had to play in a certain way, with no choice but to:

•. Play what and how we were told, even if we don't like or are struggling

•. Stick to the given tempo, even if its too fast for us

•. Perform all the aspects of the music, even if its too much for us

We also came to feel a range of negative feelings around music: about ourselves, the playing itself, how we've played, and what people think of us generally.

This might include:

• (Intense) pressure and anxiety about playing, particularly for others.

•. Worry about making mistakes, and what people will think of us, or what will happen, when we inevitably do slip up

•. Feeling defective as players, as musicians, or even as people.

The above situation is perhaps an extreme example. But maybe you relate to aspects of it to a lesser degree, or at certain points along your journey.

(I do!).

Generally, whatever your history, those kinds of more negative experiences of learning and playing music for others, can set up negative automatic thoughts and feelings about what is expected of us when we learn, practice and perform, and how we feel about ourselves and others:

We go to play and ... the negative switches turn on:

• We try to play music that is too hard for us right now

•. We try to take on too much

•. We play at a tempo that isn't suitable for us

• We rush through our practice or performance, feeling like we're being hurried along

•. We try to do it all on our own

•. We feel bad about ourselves when we make mistakes

•. We worry that people will criticise us or think badly about us

Positive Experiences, Positive Switches

Alternatively, we may experience times or whole periods when we felt well-guided, supported, understood, valued, easily forgiven for our mistakes, and nurtured to express ourselves freely, choose our own path, and take the time we needed.

These kinds of experiences create a kind of positive autopilot.

We come to associate playing for others with feeling safe, secure and relaxed. We assume that our mistakes will be met with understanding and support. As a result, we have more headspace to think more clearly and creatively. Our bodies move with more fluidity. Learning and playing feels easier and more enjoyable.

We go to sit and play, and positive switches get activated:

•. We don't rush. We don't take on too much. We go at a tempo that suits us.

•. We don't make so many mistakes.

•. We feel generally more capable, confident and successful.

A Mixed Experience

Typically, our experiences aren't wholly negative (or so extreme as above) or positive.

We experience a mixture of negative and positive situations with different people, places and contexts.

I do think that standard music education and culture tends to be over-demanding and rather punitive.

So, often, we do get our (un)fair share of negative experiences in music.

Also, our mind's well-known negativity bias means the negative experiences are likely to be more impactful and we're like to remember them more often.

In other words, it's perhaps more likely than not that our negative switches – our negative, unhelpful autopilot – will flick on as we play.

We have to make a conscious effort to shift out of playing habits that don't serve us so well.

The Confidence Switchboard: Activating Positive Schemas

The good news is, there are things we can do to help.

We can build more positive, helpful habits in our music, even if we've been struggling for years.

Over time, we can turn on more of a positive autopilot for our playing.

This is the work we do in Schema Coaching for Musicians.

The Schema Model that underpins this approach has a recognised list of 14 positive schemas: positive, helpful or adaptive thoughts, feelings, physical expressions that support healthy, positive habits in our lives (and music!).

By consciously working on the themes of these schemas – through our thoughts, imagination, and how we go about our music-making – we can cultivate more positive experiences and habits that serve us well in our playing.

In the image below, I've written out the 14 positive schemas as a switchboard.

I call it The Confidence Switchboard because – ultimately – I've found that working on these themes through our playing helps us to feel more confident.

By cultivating the core themes of the various schemas, we end up cultivating positive experiences in our music. We set ourselves up well for satisfying playing where we feel capable and successful and more confident about our ability to learn and play effectively in future.

Through the coaching and in our own practice, we can learn to 'turn on' the switches and see their affect on our playing, our sense of musicianship, and our sense of self as people.

If you like, why don't we try some of it now?

Try to ask yourself the following questions about your music-making, and have a go at the activities.

Notice what thoughts and feelings arise. Does it activate any solutions to issues you are experiencing, or shift you into a more positive state of mind and body?

Compassion/Forgiveness

• How are you feeling about your playing?

•. Are you finding it difficult?

•. Is any negative experience from your past making it difficult for you now to play?

•. What thoughts, feelings and emotions are coming up?

Activity: Hand-on-Heart Gesture:

If difficult feelings arise, you may wish to try the following exercise. It is quoted from The Self-Compassion Institute website, from leading compassion-focused therapist Dr Kristin Neff:

"

• When you notice you’re under stress, take 2-3 deep, satisfying breaths.

• Gently place your hand over your heart, feeling the gentle pressure and warmth of your hand. If you wish, place both hands on your chest, noticing the difference between one and two hands.

• Feel the touch of you hand on your chest. If you wish, you could make small circles with your hand on your chest.

• Feel the natural rising and falling of your chest as you breathe in and as you breathe out.

• Linger with the feeling for as long as you like.

Some people feel uneasy putting a hand over the heart. Feel free to explore where on your body a gentle touch is actually soothing. Some other possibilities are:

• One hand on your cheek

• Cradling your face in your hands

• Gently stroking your arms

• Crossing your arms and giving a gentle squeeze

• Gently rubbing your chest, or using circular movements

• Hand on your abdomen

• One hand on your abdomen and one over heart

• Cupping one hand in the other in your lap

"

For more information, visit: https://self-compassion.org/exercises/exercise-4-supportive-touch/

Realistic Expectations

•. What approaches or methods help you in your practice?

•. What goals feel achievable right now?

•. What's the first step for you?

•. What's a helpful tempo or pacing? What does it feel like to play at that tempo? What happens to your playing?

•. Can you make any other changes to your practice to make it even more manageable?

Self-Directedness

•. How do you want to play?

• What do you want to work towards?

•. What do you want to focus on?

Positivity/Optimism — Emotional Openness/Spontaneity

•. What do you like, enjoy, appreciate or love about the music or playing your instrument?

•. How could you bring more of what you like, love or enjoy into your practice and performance?

•. What happens to your playing when you focus more on these things?

General Reflections

•. Have any of these questions or activities been helpful?

•. If so, what and how?

•. Have there been any positive shifts in your experience: about your music and/or about yourself? If so, what are they?